My daughter’s birthday party was a swinging success. The girls were so active, they blew through the activities an hour earlier than I’d expected, so I had to find something interesting quickly. Hello, slime! Thank goodness for that huge bottle of white glue I bought a few months ago. The decorations were a hit, although I did pull an ADHD and while I carefully glued the same letter to the BACK of each letter on the front, I didn’t think it through so the back of the banner spelled HAPPY BIRTHDAY backwards. I was sad for a few minutes, but oh well. So much for spacial aptitude. It’s just another part of executive function that I’m so challenged with.
On Monday, my daughter went to her dad’s for a week. So I’ve been alone all week, alternately feeling free and happy, and then wallowing in self-pity over my breakup and watching depressing documentaries about 9/11. The free parts have been wonderful! I’ve started projects that I’ve been wanting to do for awhile- refurbishing a screen door, finding a new workbench to replace the one my partner took when she moved out, purging STUFF, etc.
Work has been super slow lately, so I’ve had time to make friendship bracelets. This is my fanciest one ever:
Find the pattern at braceletbook.com here.
And this was a new design I tried that was laughably simple once I found a pattern:
Whoops, there’s a cat hair on it. Ha! Typical.
Since I’ve been alone so much lately, I’ve realized I need outside pressure to “keep up” my house. Even with good intentions, I get sloppy and don’t clean up after myself. With no one there to worry about pleasing, I go back to my slobby ways. I resolve to finish a chore chart this week! I need the added structure to contain my chaos.
I told my daughter we would have a birthday party for her this year since she hasn’t had one in about 3 years. I have been concentrating on doing the crafty mom thing and printing party decorations … that I bought off Etsy. Heh. You thought I was going to say that I designed and drew them myself, didn’t you? Nope, I’m only doing two drawings, and one of them my daughter said looked terrible and redid. So I really only have to make a pin the party hat on Pusheen game, sew some chocolate chip cookie bean bags for the cornhole game, and clean the house. Clean the WHOLE HOUSE. I have been procrastinating on doing the drawing by cleaning the house, but tonight I was procrastinating on my procrastination tasks. How’s that for talented? I took a before picture of my dining room (below), which I have determined to clean up tonight.
I don’t know about you, but I have a terrible time with executive functions. I’ll talk more about adhd and executive functions later – now I need to get cracking. This dining room won’t tidy itself!
It’s my experience that travel changes you. In particular, within relationships. My relationships don’t always survive it. Either I will realize something important, or my partner will, and things will change, for better or worse.
Whenever I go out of town and my partner is left alone, she has time to listen to her inner voice, which usually tells her she’s unhappy. We’ve survived this until recently, until the day after my daughter and I returned from Disneyland. K had been less communicative than usual, told me she’d gone off her anti-depressant, and seemed really stressed. Friday evening she told me she was moving out of my (formerly our) house.
Saturday, she packed up her few belongings and drove away to her former roommate’s apartment, not looking back.
We are still talking, and in fact haven’t formally broken up. We are both relieved to be away from the fighting, and I’m enjoying having my home back to do as I please with it. I’m not enjoying doing all of the cleaning again, but since “she never cleaned,” which was my claim and a bone of contention between us, she has demanded to know how anything is different now.
Today has been a week. I miss her terribly but am waiting to see what this time apart will bring. I’m hoping for greater clarity on what I want, and a return to good communication between us, as well as a return to what’s important to both of us and a clear lesson on what we’ve learned.
I’ve used my hyper focus this weekend to get my daughter’s dress as far as I can without having her here for a fitting. All that’s left are the straps.
Except it’s supposed to be 100 degrees when we’re in Disneyland, so I’m not sure she’ll want to wear it…
…Especially since I lined it and added some pouf. But isn’t it fun?
We are going to Disneyland in a couple of weeks, and I got inspired to make my daughter a special dress for the occasion. Here is a picture of the material. It’s also my first tripod picture for a blog- pretty bad, eh?
Practice makes progress, and I’m trying not to get distracted with anything else before I start. Except now I see my neighbor ishaving a yard sale, so I will start *after* I go to that. Happy Saturday!
Two weeks ago, I started de-cluttering my daughter’s room. It was time – it had been several months since I had cleaned it, and at least a year since I had tried to organize it, and with the constant influx of new stuff it was becoming hazardous.
Between podcasts from A Slob Comes Clean, a blog by a woman who struggles with organization and clutter, and pins that promised me a brilliantly organized house in only 10 minutes a day, I decided to go for it. (Concurrent with decluttering my workroom, as you saw a few days ago.)
Taking before pictures of a room that is absolutely wrecked never works out. It just looks like a picture of stuff. I’ve done it enough times to learn this, plus I just wanted to get started, so I have no before pictures. At 10pm Friday I started throwing everything into boxes and moving her very heavy loft bed across the room. After a few curses at physics and my lack of planning, I got the bed turned 90 degrees. The next day, I continued by getting as much out of the room as I could, wiping down the baseboards, vacuuming and cleaning the filth. Over the next week or so, she and I went through all of her toys and she chose what things she would like to keep. In the past, she had always been very stubborn about not wanting to get rid of things, but for some reason this time she wasn’t. I had several plastic bins of toys and stuffed animals, and I told her to take out what she wanted. From my own experience, I find this is much more effective than taking out things you want to get rid of. We ended up with several boxes of toys and assorted stuff that she was willing to give up. We’re book lovers so she had a lot of books to give away, too.
Here’s the pile I’ve left to get rid of:
This doesn’t show the small box of things to sell, or another couple of boxes that I haven’t gone through yet for myself. Now… I’m sort of stuck. I’ve done the parts of the her bedroom that I know how to do; I’ve recognized and organized the obvious pieces; now there are just uncategorizable geegaws and special ephemera. I still need to go through the giveaways and make my emotional peace with them so I don’t regret getting rid of them later. What would you do at this point? How do you organize / purge your children’s or your own bedroom?
If you’re interested in the podcast I listen to for tips and inspiration, the link is below. I like Noni because she is brutally honest, and she doesn’t come across as an unattainable supermom. I relate to her struggles with stuff.
There’s new research that says ADHD may be a sleep disorder, and studies with a new medicine have shown to help symptoms.
What do you think? Do you have sleep problems and ADHD?